Five Lessons from Springsteen's California: Part 3 of my journey through "Born to Run"

I've been slowly 'touring' with the Bruce Springsteen's autobiography by my nightstand. My first blog
journey dealt with the opening 100 pages, his childhood, and the teenage world on the Jersey Shore. Next I rode 'shotgun' with Bruce through the heart of the E Street Band's biggest, boldest, baddest days in the USA. Naturally, each album and Bruce's personal journey gave me insight into my own life's adventures (banal compared to his). Although there are no soaring anthems in my life, there are a great many songs I have sung from America's Troubadour.Part three: California Dreaming.

1. Parenting is not for the faint of heart or the recklessness of youth. Bruce was 40, Patti 36 when their first born came into their lives...to crawl, not run. When your life's work, its message, your ambitions are soaring, it's like a wild (and innocent) ride on Thunder Road. Up, down, all around. You have little time to give to others, unconditionally. And that unconditional love is what matters most. It can't come with strings attached--and it can't be 'Mom's job.' I've been married 31 years, and our children came to us in our very early 30's. By then, I had given 13 years to coaching and teaching other people's kids. It was a great honor. Then, I wrote extensively, and those Readers Theaters were part of my soul, too. But once I met my wife Pam, I knew that I had played solo long enough. She was to be my Band. And as for the children...

2. You are not on stage; your children are, and you are the audience. Imagine being the three Springsteen children, or for that matter, any children born into a world where the limelight far outshines the night light. Bruce's wealth was a comfort, but all of us know that no amount of money satisfies a child who longs for the time, the attention, and the audience that both parents must provide. That's tough for a Front Man like Bruce, and not so easy for a rather vocal, center-of-attention-person like yours truly. If you don't realize they are the 'show' and their life's endeavors and evolution are on LIVE, (and you can't record it and watch it later) then as Patti tells Bruce, "You'll miss it." So you change with the times. You watch Barney, Sesame Street, and you listen to Now 3 (the album), while playing Super Mario (and always losing, not because you want them to win, but because you just suck at video games).

3. You are a team. Marriage is sacrifice. It is listening to the soulmate remind you of what you need to do to carry your load. Loving your family before your work, your games, your ambitions, well, that's a 'Man's Job'. Anyone who tells you differently is most likely a person tough to love...or divorced...with children bogged down with resentment.

4. Everyone needs a bike. When we were kids we rode, bad-ass, through the suburban streets to the tune of Born to Be Wild. Our bikes had banana seats on sting-ray wheels (no gears needed). Bruce's bikes were "chrome wheeled, fuel injected" and heading out to the Southwest desert roads. His rides were epic. But there was a freedom in the "Badlands," and the knowledge that came from those trips and the people you meet along the way, help shape your vision of this "Land of Hopes and Dreams." For me, it's my Klein 18 speed hybrid road bicycle that allows me ride the 101 Highway from Encinitas to Oceanside (California, in case you don't know). Sometimes you just gotta get out on the street and feel the wind blow through your hair...what's left of it...and just think. Or not. Or plan. Or stop at the Pannikin and meet Bob Bjorkquist for a cup of coffee with a splash of ideas to help shape your vision of what you want and how to get it.

and finally...

5. You have to decide what it is you believe, what you will stand for and what you will fight against. Bruce's song "The Ghost of Tom Joad" tells you a lot about who and what he values. It is probably naive to think that 'we can have it all' because, of course, no one can or should. "Life is difficult"--these are the words of M Scott Peck in his famous work "The Road Less Traveled." The sooner one accepts that the better. The accidents will happen and the road will be scary, ah, but a what ride! The point is that it took Bruce a long time to find his cause among all of those worth following. Tom Joad represents the soul of Springsteen's music.. Springsteen explains the views he and I share in simple terms: "Nobody wins unless everybody wins." Naive. Perhaps. But I don't cotton to zero sum games. And, in case one wonders who the heck Tom Joad is, Steinbeck's protagonist in "The Grapes of Wrath" explains:

Springsteen's "Born to Run":What I Learned Riding Shotgun with the Boss

After slowly digesting the opening 100+ pages of Springsteen's "Born to Run," I headed down the dirt highway to around page 300, and lo and behold, the hits kept coming. In no particular order, here are lessons from the Boss [some of which I've lived by and some...well, live and learn.]

1.Read it before you sign on the dotted line. My pal Harold Dorr lives by this creed, and it has served him well. It cost Bruce 100K to learn the hard way. 

2. Own your stuff. If you sell it, you may never get it back. At great pains, Bruce owns his music. Few musicians do. Ask the Beatles. People hire "Intellectual Property' lawyers for a reason. Bobby Harkins, I may need you.

3. Sobriety never fails. Bruce's story is worth reading if, for no other reason, because when you got nothin' you can't afford to be stupid and stoned. When I was a teacher, the subject of marijuana came up. I explained that I was too scared, too naive, and too interested in girls, baseball, burgers, books, movies, and a car to care about being high. A cute girl with me in my car at In'n'Out and listening to the radio after playing baseball--and then taking her to the movies--well, that's when the stars aligned in the night sky. That's as high as I got.

4. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Young love is the real intoxication. And Bruce and I took a long while to find the right girl...mine's a Vermont Girl, not a Jersey Girl.

5.Blood Brothers and Soul Sisters never let you down. I have been blessed by many brothers and sisters (even though I am an only child). Mark McWilliams and his wife Kathy go way back with me to 1974 to be exact. These are the folks that will stop whatever they are doing and travel across the wide expanse between your world and theirs to come knock on your door if you need them. [Or on your 60th birthday]

6. Music saved Bruce's soul... and my career. (Clearly, that is NOT a spoiler.) For me, I don't know what I would have done without a record player, a tape cassette, and eventually a CD player in my classroom. Anyone who knows me, knows that music is the language that was (and always will be) the bridge between me and all the young ones (and old, too) who are turning corners looking for love, hope, inspiration, and compassion. 

7. You cannot escape you parent's influence, but you can and  should ascend to higher ground.  Springsteen's parents had a profound influence on him,with a poignant downside and a unshakable upside. As for mine, nothing could possibly be as dramatic.Tessie and Louie did their best; the best that two young lovers from Brooklyn could do without much of a formal education. Fortunately for me, they realized that education was the way up and out of the lower class. But becoming a teacher crossed the line with my Dad.. The line being that expression their generation referred to as 'making good money." So I hadda do what I hadda do. I was lucky that my passion for teaching was validated (to them, anyway) when I became the 1998 San Diego County Teacher of the Year. I wasn't rock n roll star, but it sure was music to my ears.

8. Doing what you have always done is a trap. Change and growth have to come, even if you have mastered something. I remember when I was talked into teaching American Literature by Paul Robinson, my colleague. I was perfectly content doin' what I had done so many times. Teaching freshman. Coaching Speech and Debate. But all that hadda change. I was slowly grinding to a halt...I could hear my inner voice talkin' to me as I was speaking out loud to my students. "This is the same thing I've said over and over," the voice was needling me. That voice got so loud that it was hard to concentrate.. So I had to change, which brings me to the biggest ah-ha moment in the novel so far...

9. The fear, the anxiety and the depression has to be faced.  Some people, like Springsteen, realized that the box they were trapped in with all its pressurized expectations was not something they could deal with alone. The fear led to doubt...that led to worry...that led to anxiety...that led to a pounding heart and a pouring sweat...and that led to depression...because one is never sure it will go away. The early 30's were that pivotal time for the singer and the teacher. The causes, quite different, as was the diagnosis. Parenthood for me was anxiety, not the darkness and depression that Springsteen felt. But I do understand that fear. Help came in every direction. Doctors. Wives. Friends. I'll never forget how a colleague, Wally Opstead, God bless him, helped me out. There's this thing you never believe about yourself: you are young, unbreakable, independent. That is...until you are not. Fortunately, that chapter of life has a happy ending. 

10. You have to have a passion, a voice, a theme--and for Springsteen, it was for the little guy.  He became the new Tom Joad. He wrote about the factory workers, the Vietnam Vets who came home to ridicule, the woman who worked her ass off at the supermarket, the hometown with boarded up windows, and the characters with boarded up hearts, still willing to take a chance and dance in the dark. Me? I went to a high school (Catholic) that made you take a test to get in. Then they tracked you. The 7th track was as low as you can get. That was me. Every test I took I bombed. So when the chance came to teach those kids that were like me, regular ol' kids who needed someone to talk to and believe in them (as my special teachers believed in me)--well, that was right in my wheelhouse.

"And that's the way it is." Where did you go, Walter Cronkite?

I've been thinking about the FACTS lately. 

Last night a CNN, 'expert' political commentator (and Trump supporter) Scottie Nell Hughes claimed, “There’s no such thing, unfortunately, anymore of facts.”She was debating the fake news issue. [She also has a problem with sentence structure, but I digress.] Hughes was ironically stating that--as fact.

We all know Senator Daniel Moyihan famously stated that we are entitled to our our opinions, but not our own set of facts. Well, the late Senator would be very disturbed at what the world sees now as 'fact'.

The tweets and re-tweets of inaccurate or vilifying 'facts' are too numerous to name. If you can't list at least five of them right off the top of your head--then you are either not paying attention or don't care anymore.

Not paying attention is of great concern to me because I am also focusing on the theme of 'taking things for granted.' We, for instance, took for granted that the President knew The Constitution's provisions. We took for granted that both parties operated for the greater interests of this nation and the provisions of its Constitution (i.e. the Supreme Court). We took for granted what the news anchor said was based on solid reporting. We took for granted that news organizations were really that--journalistic cooperation that stood by a code of ethics and would not publish scurrilous rumors. There was a clear distinction between the National Enquirer and the Washington, Los Angeles, New York, St. Louis, Atlanta, etc. NEWSpapers.

And we took for granted that The President of the United States spoke to the American people about facts, with dignity and restraint, and with the full support of the experts on domestic and foreign policy standing behind him (not her, yet). He would not be flippant. He would not speak until he had full command of the FACTS.

Which gets me back to the facts. Each evening as I grew up, Walter Cronkite ended each broadcast with his signature phrase: "That's the way it is." He was a republican. Conservative. And that did not matter because he was Walter Cronkite. His was the soul of the news business. He told us exactly when JFK died. He told us that Neil Armstrong had landed on the moon--and he smiled as he took off his glasses, on both occasions, as we saw his emotions bubble to the surface.

I remember when he famously went to the jungles of Vietnam to report on the conflict; checking if what Dan Rather and others were saying was true. He was shaken. He told us that this war was tragic, misguided, and he felt for our troops in harm's way and the poor people of Vietnam were caught in the middle. More than anyone, Cronkite may have turned the tide of public opinion. That's the way he was.

I'm not sure any of the news anchors have that status with the American people. Maybe they do, some of them, but many of us are not paying attention--or the news anchors are not 'telling it like it is.' That is another story for another day.

Then there are the other people who do not care anymore about facts. They either don't believe anyone or they believe in opinions based on blind faith. Both are dangerous. People who don't believe anyone just themselves--and I understand why. They feel betrayed by forces that took away jobs and medical benefits. Divorce has ravaged their souls and pocketbooks. To many of these Americans, the 'facts' don't matter--their life's realities matter. But this is precisely when they abdicate their duty as citizens in our democracy. This is a the republic that needs their educated citizenry, and they DO BELIEVE DEEP DOWN that America is the greatest nation on earth. Their apathy is a sad and a scary proposition.

Or they listen to others (not read, mind you) LISTEN to others, and take their statements as truth--blindly. The 'sources' of this information often have never served this country either as civilians or soldiers. They are not privy to National Security briefings. They get their facts from 'their guts'--or from other like minded folk. And they spew it out as if it is the Word of the Lord.

These 'believers' are looking for simple answers to what informed folks know are very complicated issues. The facts are lost. It's about ratings, eyeballs on the screen, 'if it bleeds it leads' is how the media mantra goes, and if the blood is made up or exaggerated, oh well (see Clinton's children prostitution ring). The loudest voice in the media replaces the smartest man or woman in the room.

So...I will read David Brooks, Tom Friedman, Farid Zakaria, etc. They represent voices of the right, the center and left center. But I will question. I will check on the facts. Facts do matter. Truth does exist. I look for that evidence whether it is data, studies, surveys, opinions of experts in the field--because that is what American democracy depends.. An enlightened, energetic citizenry is what makes us a 'more perfect union.'

We are lucky to live in the USA, but it is a privilege and a responsibility, but I surely miss Walter Cronkite.

And that is the way it is.

"This Is Us"...The first of two 'TV' shows that knock me out!

In these days of pretty awful sitcoms, our friends the Parkingtons gave us a tip on a tv show that blows us away..."This Is Us"--It is not a 'comedy" [although strangely billed as one]. It is drama at its finest. [And somehow it is on regular old NBC, and not HBO or some other 'golden age- pay for it channel.']

It's a flashback- fast forward look at what three completely different kids grow up to become. It never ceases to have moments of heartfelt emotion, without the maudlin soap opera nature associated with most one hour network 'stuff.'

The three generations of characters and the sublime acting [even the little kids!] pulls us into the mystery of life and how, as parents ourselves, no matter what we do, little is 'as it is supposed to be.'

I can't say that "This Is Us" is me; but they sure are people I'd like to know and befriend.

Lessons I learned (so far) reading Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run"

Welcome back to my Blog, Gang. I have been doing some pondering and giving thanks for my family and friends the last few weeks.  I took a break, and for my birthday, I began reading Bruce's autobiography. I am only 200+ pages in but don't worry; no spoilers, after all, we all know how his story ends with BBBRRRUUUCCCEEE!

But here are some inspirational lessons from The Boss:

1. There are no shortcuts to greatness. 

2. There is no greatness without practice, practice, practice. There is the 'practice of law'; the 'practice of medicine'; the 'practice of teaching'; and the 'practice of music'. Great players play and play music. It's not called 'work'; it's called 'play' for a reason, and ya gotta play until you give blood.

3. When you start from abject poverty, there is no way but up. Yep, some are born with money and power and connections. But if all you got is raw talent and desire, 'born to run' becomes your best means of escape. 

4. When few believe in you, even one's father, you must have the fortitude to believe in yourself. And sometimes that takes a leap of faith that few of us have the courage to take.

5. There is message and there is money. One drives a person to make a difference and strike a chord with others; it has staying power. The other drives you around and around and around in a insatiable journey.

6. If you want to be great, failure is not an option; it's a necessity. You have to lose and fail to figure out why you are not as good as you think you are...or can be.

7. Heart and soul cannot be measured, but it is the key to lifelong friendship and collaboration--thus, the

 E Street band is still rockin'-- 40 years and counting.

8.  When you come from a bloodline that screams alcoholism and depression, facing those demons matters. Avoiding illegal drugs completely was a non-negotiable for Bruce. And for 22 years so was drinking. He is no saint, but when he faced a father whose alcoholism ruined his 'Pops', Bruce knew he needed to always have control of those demons. Actually, he always wanted control of a lot things--mostly his music.

9. Sex is certainly not one of his demons, but it is one of his themes.

10. Mom's matter. His mother saved him many times.As did his sisters, his wife Patti and his children.

So that's just a short list. I think all of this is metaphorical. These qualities are all a part of everyone's emotional, physical and spiritual fabric. Especially mine. 

Today an aspiring,young teacher asked me what I would do on the day or days after this election!

Today an aspiring, bright young teacher asked me what I would do on the day or days after this election. She mentioned her heartfelt disappointment in Secretary Clinton's loss and her fear of a Trump presidency. She told me that other teachers felt the same. She told me some called in sick, some just sat shell shocked and had the kids do work, some had them draw pictures...perhaps some just ignored the reality of the election and just pushed forward with content.

Then she asked me what would you do, Mr. Pacilio?

I would not THINK of calling in sick. That is not adult or responsible. 

I don't break out the crayons.

I don't push on and ignore what happened. I have some experience with emotional earthquakes. I am referencing my blog entries to two subjects: What did I do the morning of 9.11 and what did I do when a student asked me if I was a Democrat or Republican.

That said. here is what I would have done.

 I would ask the students to write a question about the election. For example, why did Trump win or why did Hillary lose? What does this mean for America's poor, unemployed, minorities, LGBT communities, etc.

Then I'd gather them up and give my best answers. I prided myself on being factual and willing to understand different points of view.

So I would talk about the rust belt folks who tipped the election and who have had jobs shipped overseas or lost to automation or lost to a profit motive of invisible shareholders.

I would talk about the opioid  addiction issues that plague the Appalachia counties and devastate its people

I would talk about the fear that people feel about governments in Africa and the Middle East falling and the refugees fleeing. Where do people go when disaster strikes--they were fleeing Germany under Hitler's reign of terror.

I would discuss what scientists are saying about global warming and that hopefully Mr. Trump sees the light and realizes that it is not a hoax. 

I would discuss the fact that in their lifetime I am confident they WILL see a woman president. I would remind them of Gold Star parents like Mr. Khan, whose son died in defense of America, who, like thousands of Muslims, Jews, Catholics, etc..,believe in and fight for the right to be free to express in their spiritual views.

I would remind them that even President Obama deported a great number of people who entered the nation illegally; however, he also had a path to help the dreamers. Perhaps that balance can be negotiated.

In the end I would say this: Presidents come and go. Loved ones are with you forever. Trends change. But core values of compassion for others, kindness to strangers, love of country, fidelity to lovers, fair play, equal opportunity, sharing our abundance, and that the color of one skin has nothing to do with the content of one's character are what binds us and makes us the UNITED States of America. 

We have been through Civil War, Civil Rights for all, and the key word is civil. And what does civil mean? Perhaps this election saw a lack of civility--more than 

most elections--but in the end, we endure and remain civil. Those that do not understand that and choose hatred and violence do not represent what America stands for. 

Id ask them, rhetorically: What do you stand for? 

Then I would remind them that this is what I stand for:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. 

That's how I see it from my Metaphor Cafe. .

You'll do just fine when a crisis occurs. I know it.

If “Mr. Smith” were in a Presidential Debate, here is what he might say:

Moderator: Hello. Welcome to this first of two fictional debates.

Mr. Trump: This debate is already rigged!

Secretary Clinton: I am no longer responding to Donald, so I have nothing to say.

Mr. Trump: Good…trademark.

Moderator: Let’s move on. Mr. Smith, if you go to Washington…

Mr. Smith: By the way, it was a great movie with Jimmy Stewart.

Moderator: Yes…a classic, but if you were elected how would you solve poverty?

Mr. Smith: I wouldn’t.

Moderator: Um, pardon?

Mr. Smith: I wouldn’t because I alone can’t. You can lump into that: solving crime, ending drug addiction, curing obesity, or lowering the cost of medical insurance.

Moderator: But you are running for President, sir.

Mr. Smith: Yes. But I am not an all-powerful omniscient god. Not only that, but I am only one branch of government at the federal level. Then there are the 50 states and their legislators. And, if I heard you correctly, you used the word ‘solve’—that implies that poof the problem is gone for good. Poverty and the rest of the aforementioned maladies facing America can’t be “solved” by one person.

Mr. Trump: I can…only I can…trademark.

Secretary Clinton: I am no longer responding to Donald, so I have nothing to say.

Moderator: Mr. Trump, the next time you interrupt, your mike will be turned off.

Mr. Smith: Anyway, I can’t solve racism either. And these are only the domestic issues. I can’t stop immigration—no “wall” can. I can’t make the planet stop warming. I can’t replace dictators like Assad in Syria or his ilk in North Korea, not to mention the brutal leaders in Africa, who are literally chasing the continent’s people into the sea.

Moderator: Well, Mr. Smith, then why are you going to Washington when you admit you can’t solve these problems?

Mr. Trump: He’s a loser…(Microphone off)

Secretary Clinton: Again, I am not commenting on anything Donald says. However, I think the point Mr. Smith is making is that one person alone cannot ‘solve’ any of those issues. We are ‘Stronger Together!’ and I have a 30 year history…

Moderator: No…no…we already…just turn her microphone off for a while.

Secretary Clinton: …I began working for…(microphone off)

Mr. Smith: Yes, it’s true. We are stronger together, but we are not acting in the best interest of the American citizens or following the provisions of The Constitution

Moderator: Please explain. They won’t bother you anymore.

Mr. Smith: Look, I don’t want to go to Washington for job security; there should be term limits in congress and the senate. I want to make my voice heard so people can hopefully realize that we have more in common, and to be aware as Lincoln said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

Moderator: So what would you say to the American people?

Mr. Smith:  I think Justice Scalia was right about limits to the Second Amendment writing that there can be legal and legitimate restrictions on guns. I think that it is not the governments’ –state or federal—what  a woman does with her body .The Supreme Court ruled that states cannot put the interests of a fetus ahead of the interests of the pregnant woman until the fetus is "viable."After viability, the state could regulate or prohibit abortions unless they were ``necessary, in appropriate medical judgment'', to preserve the life or health of the woman. I’d prefer a woman goes to term and give the child up to adoption. But I have no right to tell her what to do.

Moderator: Well, that’s two controversial issues. What about the Black Lives Matter issue of racism, Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith: I think racism is a stain, and has been, on America’s moral fabric. I think Americans need to heed Dr. King’s creed: to judge people by the content of their character, not the color of their skin. We make assumptions about blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Muslims, Jews…the list is endless. I think Atticus Finch’s words in the American classic novel Mockingbird are timeless. To his children he said that once you step into some else’s shoes and walk around in them, well you’ll never understand them. Ghettoes are the last remnants of segregation, and it will take individual strength on all of us rid the issues plague inner cities. It’s on all of us.

Moderator: You mentioned global warming?

Mr. Smith: Yes. I think it is a foregone conclusion that man made warming of the planet is the major driver in climate, and it threatens the existence of the generation we are sending to elementary schools today. I think solar panels should be the landscape of the desert; that aqueducts should flow west to the heartland, even over the Rocky Mountains. I think coal and oil should be significantly phased out of the national energy plan. But it is bigger than America—its about developing nations like India, China, Brazil. I think the Paris Accords are the best chance for global survival.

Moderator: We are short on time but quickly, what about education?

Mr. Smith: I think that school’s budgets shouldn’t be determined by the tax base of the neighborhood—but that a national baseline should be established for adequate funding for all schools. Jonathon Kozol made that point in Savage Innocents decades ago. I think teachers should not receive tenure until they have served 10 years with distinction, as judged by the master teachers of those districts.

Moderator: Again, quickly, on taxes and how to you bring jobs back to America?

Mr. Smith: We pay a price for living in this great nation and that price should be progressive, not regressive. The more you personally make, the more you rate. Corporations leave and outsource because their allegiance is to its shareholders, not to American interests. So when that occurs I think we have only two choices: lower corporate taxes and pray they return their factories here—and that is an iffy proposition since they can always find cheaper labor and increase profits as we try to offset their tax bill, or we can look to President Obama’s program of “insourcing” as explained in the Washington Monthly: “Though President Obama has praised insourcing’s leaders as “CEOs who take pride in hiring people here in America.” Why are companies doing that? Some companies consider insourcing  “have learned the hard way about offshoring’s hidden downsides, such as the lack of intellectual property protection for proprietary manufacturing processes, quality control issues, and the frustration of waiting weeks for products to arrive by container ship while rivals potentially rush hot new products to the shelves. Moreover, long supply chains mean more exposure to earthquakes and tsunamis, wars, oil shocks, and other unpredictable disruptions.”

Moderator: Well, that’s interesting.

Mr. Smith: It is.

Moderator: Well, thank you Mr. Smith, but we have run out of time. Join us on our next fictional debate next week in which we will tackle Obamacare, Isis, Middle East peace, immigration, the Supreme Court and a host of other issues. We hope you vote on Election Day, November 8^th. Goodnight. 

"Growin' Up" (with apologies to Bruce Springsteen) 1964-1973-

As fate would have it, my cousin Joe got it a bad motorcycle accident. Joe drove his motorcycle often. He drove it to my parent's house the afternoon my father was slipping away. He helped me turn my dad over in his hospice bed as my mom (Tessie) served him (Louie) his last meal. My dad only took a few bites for our benefit; he rolled his eyes. Joe Pacilio got on his bike later and headed for the San Gabriel hills. My dad passed away in his sleep that night.

Not to confuse the reader, but my Uncle Joey-no relation to Joe, my cousin, climbed up the steps of the mobile home (that my dad always reminded my mom, "was mobile, Tessie. If it rains, the whole thing is on jacks and it floats down the street!") Anyway, Uncle Joey looked at me the morning of my dad's passing and said, "Louie, that son-of-a-bitch, that's the way to go...if ya gotta go."

Fast forward 6 years. So when my cousin Joe was recovering from his crash with a couple broken legs (keeping the story less graphic), I knew I had to see him. That meant a trip back to my old stomping grounds, perhaps better remembered as the grounds where I was stomped on. After all, I am the classic version of "Leo the Late Bloomer."

So off I went in my truck heading from San Diego to LA, where my parents settled back in 1964 after leaving New Jersey and Brooklyn. This meant I had to drive up the interstate 5, up, up and eventually up passing Azusa Blvd: its motto was A- Z in the USA; who could possible forget that?

Then I realized, if I got off the freeway and traveled down Azusa, I had to run into my old elementary school of 1964. Saint Martha's Catholic School was old even then; each grade was one room. I wondered what it looked like, had it closed down, or had it been completely renovated? As I drove down Azusa, I did not recognize a thing.  And then out of the morass of tacky strip malls-- there it was.

I felt like I was in a time warp. Nothing, I mean NOTHING had changed. The same small rooms that probably were built in the 1950's. The same playground in which I remember playing kick ball and having to FREEZE the moment the freeze bell sounded. I climbed the steps to the upper grades and walked to the door marked 8th GRADE. It was open. I peered in. Okay, at least the desks were new-ish, but not a smart board to be found or a computer on any desk. Nope. For all I knew Mother Invincion, our teacher in '68, could be still standing there ready to tape my mouth shut because I was talking to Debbie or Cathy or JoAnn or Helen or Katie--names that are not in vogue in today's modern classroom. I took pictures. You'll see more of them on my FB page.

I then realized that I knew my way to the high school, if I just kept driving down Azusa Blvd. I had not been there since I graduated in June of 1973 at the curly-haired age of 17. Naturally, I didn't need GPS. This was my past I was trailblazing. So...I got lost. I stopped at a Starbucks amid so many strip malls. Was I gonna quit. No way. I had come this far. I did what any red blooded man would never do--I asked for directions.
I consulted the one person who has given my life direction--I called my wife. Quickly she jumped on the computer and realized I was within blocks.

I drove up into the neighborhood of homes in the town of El Monte, passed homes that were easily built in the 50's which surrounded my Alma mater, and again there it was. EXACTLY THE SAME. The only difference was the sign--just like at Saint Martha's the classrooms were identical. The grass fields that the seniors chased us around for initiation, the parking lot that only the seniors (or really cool kids) could park, the football stands that I sat in for yearbook pictures...all frozen in time. I wondered if they still had the girls' side of the school and the boys' side that was divided by a yellow line? I couldn't find out because the gates were locked.

 I asked an older man across the street how to catch the freeway to get up to my cousin in San Gabriel. After a few lefts and rights, he looked at me and asked why I was taking a picture of this school building. I said, "I went to school here in '69--it was a big deal then to go here. Pat Haden and John McKay played football here." He nodded but it didn't register. I went on my way.

I arrived to see my cousin at his house that he dubbed "Club Pacilio'--he had the neon sign to prove it. He was looking great for a guy in the hospital for over a week. And we reminisced about our dads who were brothers. I promised him I would be back to see him, and we would toast our dads with our wives next time.

But I would never go past my schools again. I guess it's true that some things change, but some remain the same. And some are better off remembered as they were in my days of innocence.

Some of the Saint Martha's Gang at our 40th Bishop Amat reunion. Me?
I'm the guy in the back row among all the girls I talked to.
 It was a great affair. Thanks, Debbie. 

To the Parents of the Metaphor Cafe with Love

“La Petite Café at Midnight, New Years Eve”

I used to plan out our evenings

Then present you with choices

On an elegant menu next to a single red rose:

“Stefano’s and the Upstart Crow in Hillcrest,

Alfonso’s and a stroll to the Cove Theater in La Jolla,

La Petite Café and the Pannikin coffee house in the Gaslamp.”

Your choice.

And now we are hostage to busy babysitters

Limited to a couple of hours

--maybe three--

nodding off at films

tired dining at banal restaurants immediate to our home.

And sometimes we even do the unimaginable

Finding ourselves in, of all things, Grocery stores

--with coupons--

paying for the freedom to do

the mundane chores that life assigns.

And home, again

To kiss the foreheads and pull blankets under chins

--drive babysitter home--

only to return to a house softly slumbering,

tucking your blanket under your chin.

Our choice.

Maybe someday we will stay up late again

Planning evenings until midnight

On a New Years Eve

All dressed up with some place to go

But still worrying where they are

With no one to tuck them in.

p.s Many years ago, when are children were so young, I challenged my students to enter a poetry contest. They said, "Why don't YOU write a poem, Mr. Pacilio?" I told them to find a contest for teachers that paid real money! They did. "La Petite Café at Midnight, New Years Eve” was debut into the published world. It was the winner. Bob

The 10 Best Days of My Life…So Far…

Dedicated to the memory

Of my parents and my wife’s parents.

They did the best they could

To make a better life for both of us

And their grandchildren.

So …I was thinking about some of my best days

as I walked the streets of Encinitas one morning.

(Since it is a given that every day the Good Lord allows me

to walk up and smell the roses, is a good day:)

The 10 Best Days of My Life…So Far…

1. The day I married Pamela Jean

2-3 (a tie) The days Nicholas and Anna were born

4-5 (a tie, again) The days they graduated from college

6. The day I received the San Diego County’s

                Teacher of the Year Award

7. Kathy and Mark McWilliams Wedding Day

8-9 (a tie, what can I say?) The days I took my family

          To see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band

10. The day I proposed to Pam at the Ventana Inn in Big Sur

Honorable Mentions:

The 16 years as Mt. Carmel High School’s Speech and Debate

          Coach and State Champions/National Finalists- 1991

The day both of us were in Pam and Jim Reifeiss’ wedding

The day both of us watched Bob Bjorkquist give away

          His daughter Olivia to Ben

The surprise on my 60^th birthday that arrived at my front door

Every day I spoke at various schools about 9.11 to Springsteen’s

          “The Rising”

Everyday my students and I danced through the decades

The last day I taught my freshman English class:

                My final day as a teacher

                When my students stood on their desks and

                Recited:’’Oh, Captain, My Captain”

                In the Metaphor Cafe

The Politics of Cynicism vs. Gratitude. Your Choice

These are facts: poverty rate is declining ( NY Times, three weeks ago, front page); unemployment 4.9%; President Bush was mislead and spent trillions in Iraq ; President Obama cut off the head of 9.11 attackers, Bin Laden: just facts. 
Yes . People's wages are awful. People are angry and distrustful. I do not underestimate the pain these families and individuals are suffering.
The cause is the issue, as is the solution. Do we blame the managers of our government? Or  do we blame the top tier of the corporate world( in which profits skyrocket) ? Do we blame failing workers' unions? Do we blame the industries that do all it can to avoid taxes and pay higher wages and medical benefits? Do we blame public schools for not preparing students for the new economy? Do we blame the families who are falling apart and, with it, do we criticize the lack of parental guidance? Do we blame a drug culture that has turned people into zombies from Appalachia to urban ghettos (see "Hillbilly Elegy) ? Do we blame colleges for costs that outstrip the ability to pay these loans?
                                               Or...
Do we look in the mirror and work harder despite all this and prove that we are stronger than this and stronger together- regardless of party affiliation and life's difficult circumstances?
That is the crux of the issue.
Senator Bernie Sanders pushed Americans and Secretary Clinton to ask some of these questions. We would be wise to pay attention. President Obama saved us from economic disaster as we bleed out 800,000 jobs a month. He restored integrity to the office. His family modeled for America what parenthood should be. The First Lady, Michelle Obama continues to be a beacon of hope for young girls and women, here and abroad.
For this I am most grateful.
Blame and hate gets us nowhere, making us cynical, and turns us against each other. We should pay our fair share of taxes to live in the greatest nation on Earth. The effort to remain the guiding light of liberty is ON US!
So...that's my view from the Metaphor Cafe. (previously a response to FB post--but updated)

To All Teachers (and Springsteen Fans): The Top 10 Springsteen Songs to Teach and Why!

(This is tough to limit to 10…so I cheated.) 

1. “We Take Care of Our Own”: This is a great way to gather the kids around you and point out that in your classroom, in this school, in our country—you have their backs, and they have each others’. Look at that flag and remember, despite our faults, Americans step up even if the government may fail.

2. “The Rising”: 9.11 is this generation’s Pearl Harbor. Springsteen’s album thematically takes us on those fire trucks to the Twin Towers in “The Rising”; to the day after 9.11 “Empty Sky”; to the weeks that follow “Countin on a Miracle”; to the grieving “You’re Missing”; and ends with an uplifting echo that life goes on at “Mary’s Place”. (This is the presentation I’ve delivered.)

3. “The River”: This is a heartbreaking diary of teenage passion and its unintended consequences. (Ask me for materials.)  

4. “Land of Hope and Dreams”: At a time when some feel America is on the decline, this anthem reminds students that their nation is the envy of the world and a place where all people are (or should be) accepted. Dreams can be realized—as opposed to differed. (Ask me for the power point.)

5.  “41 Shots, American Skin”: Tom Robinson is riddled with 17 bullets in Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird.” This song, inspired by the police shooting death of Amadou Diallo, reminds students that ‘Black Lives Matter” –as do all lives, including the police, school children, and victims of sexual abuse. (The video of this song at Madison Square Garden is a knockout.)

6. “Wreck on the Highway”: Paired with Karl Shapiro’s poem “Auto Wreck”, students see tragedy from two opposing points of view. Both end hauntingly with a reminder—“there but for fortune.”

7. “The Ghost of Tom Joad”: I taught The Grapes of Wrath as a film. Springsteen’s song puts the 1930’s into context today, as poverty and homelessness remain timeless, as is the need to step up and help.

8. “Devils and Dust”: The storyteller has “his finger on the trigger” but he does not know whom or what to trust. America’s soldiers are placed in untenable situations in the Middle East. A compliment to novels like Tim O’Brian’s The Things They Carried.

9. “Thunder Road”: For years I taught the film Dead Poets Society, which focuses on the romantics verses the realists. I loved experiencing this song in the round, with the classroom darkened with only a single candle in the center. I would ask the kids, ‘Would you get in the car with the protagonist at the end of the song?’ The message is clear: it’s never too late to find love, but it is also a leap of fate.

10. “Born to Run”: (Spoiler alert!) This is how I ended both my teaching career and a novel—so read no further (unless you’ve read Meetings at the Metaphor Café)! Again, theater in the round. Kids standing on desks. Last day of school. As their teacher, I encouraged my “tramps” to soar. To “climb out on that wire”, hug their soulmate, and find that “runaway American dream”.

The Encore…naturally.

11. “Secret Garden”: I loved teaching this song with Catcher in the Rye. Holden’s relationship with girls and the understanding that there are places in a woman’s heart and soul that he is not welcome. Springsteen, like Holden, knows those places remain secret, even as a teardrop falls on a checkerboard.

13. “My Home Town”: Written in the ‘80’s, Springsteen’s song predates the Great Recession, but its setting is visually powerful. Its characters evolve from children to parents. The cycle begins anew. (Note:“Death to My Hometown” is the modern version of what the film The Big Short chronicles. The carpetbaggers have ripped off the innocent bystanders, and nobody pays for it on Wall Street.

14 “Born in the USA”: It’s an angry anthem about what America’s Vietnam Veterans went through in war and when they returned, as they “end up like a dog that’s been beat too much/ so that you spend half your life just covering up.” The irony lies with the indisputable fact that they were born in the USA. (Ask me for the power point.)

15 “Frankie Fell in Love”: I’m enamored with this song, and it riffs so well with Romeo and Juliet.  It captures the bliss of falling in love, and the fact that Einstein and Shakespeare make cameo appearances is the cherry on the top of this delicious dessert. (Ask me for the power point.)

That's How I see it at the Metaphor Cafe.

To All Teachers: It's Music to Their Ears. 'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you!

When I was 40 years old, and 19 years into the "Kid Business" I was chatting with my pal Joe, a math teacher, who said to me, "Bob, their music just sucks!" I chided Joe, a very popular teacher, "Joe, we can't think like that. You are sounding like our grumpy parents."

From the moment a student stepped into my classroom, they knew that music was, and still is (ask my National University student teachers), sometimes the only thing I had in common with the students.(More on that at a later date.) My classroom walls were bordered with album covers. On the first day of class rather than read them the rules, I gave them a tour of "the Metaphor Cafe."

Now, before I explain the symbolism of that tour, I am sure many of you teachers are thinking (1) I am not Bob Pacilio, and (2) I teach something that has nothing to do with music--like math or science. There are very few people who are not moved by music. Mozart, Gershwin, Ray Charles, Beyonce or Bruce Springsteen, who remind us that music has a beat. It often has lyrics. We dance to it. We gather around the campfire to it, identify with it, protest to it, make out to it, and become inspired by it.
And for many, we get married to it.

As for it not being a part of math and science--on the contrary, songs about nature, global warming, the animal kingdom, and about 'going where no one has gone before' are all out there. My favorite is Bruce Hornsby's "Look Out Any Window"--a 1989 bit of foreshadowing about global warming (ahem, it IS REAL and not a hoax perpetuated by China so our manufacturing companies have to shut down [NY Times Editorial this week]). And anyone wishing for snag a copy of my power points just needs to contact me on FB or at my website www.robertpacilio.net.

As for math, all music is math. The two are linked. Study after study shows that math and music go hand in hand. One, two, three.... "The Logical Song" by Supertramp is a good example. But more likely math teachers can and should play classical or jazz music during study sessions, quizzes, tests, etc. It calms. It sets a mood. New electronic music does the same. Yoga studios have caught on to this. Namaste.

Need I point out to social science teachers, PE teachers, health teachers, foreign language teachers how critical music is? Okay, forget for a minute the songs with lyrics that apply to the English teachers. Here are a few songs consider "Blowin  in the Wind" social science; "[Isn't it] Ironic" language arts; "Welcome to My Playground" physical education; "Waterfalls" health; a bounty of music from Spanish, to French and to, my favorite, Italian singers sets the mood like no other... an evening with Dean Martin in  Roma knocks me out!.

But forget all the curriculum stuff for a moment. Remember, we are teaching kids--they are our customers. You gotta be hip. (Unless you have little interest in their world, and then they will react similarly to yours. Remember when we were young, and how we often respected teachers who were 'in tune' with our world?) Students want to know about our music, but only if we have mutual respect for theirs. Believe me, the album cover of Johnny Cash "Live at Folsom Prison" always started a conversation with the kids. If you don't like something about their musical world and speak to it, then know what you are talking about. Remind them that before Beyonce rolled, Tina Turner rocked the river and Aretha Franklin got RESPECT. Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger inspired Springsteen' guitar and harmonica. Nat King Cole to Ray Charles to John Legend is the R&B double play combo. The kids might not know what you're talkin about but the hook is set and curiosity baits them. After all, it's "My g-g-g-Generation, Baby"

The bottom line is it will get their motor runnin', get their juices flowin' get their feet tappin' and make them smile as they walk into YOUR classroom. They will look at you and think: "Whoa--what in the Bruno Mars is going on in here?"
That's when you got 'em.
 So show them that Uptown Funk gonna give it to 'em:

Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot

Don't believe me just watch (come on) 

For Baseball Fans of the San Diego Padres: Top 5 Terrible Trades!

I am a huge fan. I love the underdog. I love the teams that have to scrape by. I love scrappy ballplayers. I love old school. I love players who wear stirrups socks like Mays and Mantle. I love hot dogs and peanuts and the crack of the bat. I hate the DH and I don't like inter-league play at all. I don't why we have to play 19 games in our division. I loved Tony Gwynn. Miss him. Met him on the field when I was teacher of the year and he signed a baseball for me.
But the Friars have been fried more often than not when it comes to trades.

The worst in order:

1. Acquiring Adrian Gonzales and then trading him...and then...
2. Acquiring Anthony Rizzo and then trading him...Combined these two and you can't hang a star.
3. Letting Dave Winfield become a free agent and a Yankee. You just don't do that when a player is at his peak and is born a Hall of Famer. Sorry...just can't happen.
4. Corey Kubler: Yep we had him Oh, he was last years Cy Young Award Pitcher for the Indians. That's okay we got Ryan Ludwick. Ouch
5. Trading Roberto Alomar, another Hall of Famer for McGriff and Tony Fernandez.

So that's 2 Hall of Famers; 1 Cy Young Winner; and 2 of the best hitters in baseball--one destined to be the third Hall of Famer (Gonzales) and the other (Rizzo) likely to break the CURSE OF THE CUBS !

Seriously! And the Padres wonder why fans are frustrated!

Okay, I admit Trevor Hoffman was a GREAT trade. So was the  Caminiti and Finley trade. Greg Vaughn and Kevin Brown signings were terrific, too. All that helped us become '98's Best Padre team ever. (not to mention cause Petco Park to be a ballot darling)...But '84 and '98--that's it.

I guess after the Cubs win the World Series, the Padres may be the next to be cursed.

p.s If you like my Blog, there is a "follow" button on the right.

A Teacher's Memory of 9.11

It doesn't seem like 17 years have passed.. I was driving to school and heard of a plane crash in New
York. I parked and immediately went to the faculty lounge where teachers were gathering around an old TV. Our eyes were glued to CNN. The second plane hit the other tower. Newscasters were speaking of an attack that was multifaceted. Unconfirmed rumors of Pennsylvania and DC attacks started.

We were all silent. From time to time, my teaching colleagues looked at each other, but we had little to say. The principal was not on campus. As a matter of fact, I never saw any administrators.
Then the bell rang. We were all unsure of what to do for about a minute. And then someone said something like, Well, I guess we do the best we can. And then we headed to our classrooms.

My 25 freshman were gathered around the trailer I called home. The look on their faces told me how they were feeling: eyes wide open, some whispering that a war began, others just dumbfounded.

I let them in the classroom, and they automatically sat where they were supposed to. They looked at me.  They wanted answers. There wasn't any message coming over the school's speakers. The lesson on whatever I was supposed to teach was the last thing anyone wanted to hear--including me.

So I said something like: I guess you are wondering what happened? The answer is I know; there has been an attack in New York. I know a plane crashed into the Twin Towers. I think it was on purpose, and I think it was an act of terrorism. This was  a very bright group of 14 year old English students so the next question on their lips was why?



So I explained that people in other nations were not willing to accept Western culture. The kids why? kept coming. I remembered that a U.S. ship had been attacked by another boat with explosives that had blown a hole in our ship years ago when President Clinton was in office. I think I just let them talk to me, and I tried my best to calm them down and tell them a little history about tensions in the Middle East.

seemed confused. I staggered through an explanation of the people who viewed the USA as the enemy. It wasn't a very good answer. The questions about

It was the best I could do.
It went on like that all day, with more information trickling in with each class period. Some true, some exaggerated. Lunch found us teachers gathering again, talking among ourselves about how to handle the rest of the day.

We were numb.

I vowed in the years that followed that I would do my best on 9.11 to explain the truth behind a day that became my generation's Pearl Harbor. Along with my history partner Christiana Jenny, we explained that 9.11 was another day the 'will live in infamy." With the help of a West Wing episode entitled: "Isaac and Ishmael" and a concept album by Bruce Springsteen about 9.11 called "The Rising" I made our best attempt to make sure my students would 'Never Forget.'

Recently I discovered that some 500+ First Responders have died of complications from 9.11 There is a memorial for them on Staten Island. Most people don't know that. They put shoes out with flags to symbolize the number of people who died that day. I used to know that number by heart--now I would have to look it up. 9.11 makes me mad and sad. My close friend Jim Reifeiss (who for years spoke to my students) is still mad. My friend David Rosenberg did as well. He wonders if teachers like myself STILL speak to the issue. I don't know I HOPE TOMORROW THEY DO.

2,977...I looked it up.

That was the saddest, most frustrating day I ever faced in 32 years. And I will "never forget."


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