5 Timeless lessons on 4 Letter Words

Courtsey of Jan Schneider from  Upsplash  

Last week I was a visiting lecturer at Southwest Junior College, which is a stone’s throw from the Mexico’s border with San Diego. I was also visiting with the professor who was my former student when she was a mere freshman in my English class. Quite proud I was of her, you see, because she was in charge of guiding a group of 25 students transitioning to a four year university despite their challenging circumstances.

And what where those, you ask? Professor M (for privacy) wrote me about the class because as all good teachers know, one of the first rules in teaching is know your students. They were young folks 18–23, who slept on the floor of their cramped homes, crossed the US border to come to class, came from schools that had underperformed, were living on a shoe-string budget, but they were bright, caring and loyal to her. Professor M had me at would you come….

Before I tell you the 5 lessons about 4 letter words, this preface will set the scene. I sat under the shade of a tree waiting for the class to begin and sitting next to me was a young lady whom I assumed was in the class. So I asked her if she recognized the song playing from the snack shack nearby. She said no. So I asked her if she heard of Stevie Wonder. No.

“But he is the famous singer who sang ‘You are the Sunshine of my life.’” Nope. Hmm. “Bruce Springsteen?” She shook her head politely (figuring this nice 63 year old man must be just lonely).

So I tried another tract: “The Beatles?” Ah ha! Eureka! She nodded. I worked my way back…or forward, even I was confused. “Madonna?” Again, a nod, as well as a smile. “Prince?” Yes. “Sting?” No.

So I was getting a gauge on the situation. This was going be a tough crowd for a guy with a CD player, a song and a Springsteen PowerPoint in his bag of tricks.

After a heartfelt introduction by Professor M, I asked all of the class if they ever even heard of Bruce Springsteen. No one had (except the lad who surreptitiously looked Springsteen on his laptop). “No worries,” I said, “we will get there soon enough.”

I explained that 4 letter words like f*%#; s&%#, etc. were tossed around casually nowadays even though there are 7 words one still cannot say on TV” (George Carlin: no way was I asking them about him). “But here are words that really do need to be expressed far more often, and if acted upon, would lead one to a happier life…and success along the way. Here goes:

KIND: “In my high school teaching days from 1977 until 2010, there were an awful lot of ‘dagger words’: bitch, faggot, asshole, …you know the roster. They are the stones we throw out of anger and frustration — or downright ignorance.” I reminded them that the people you meet who do a kind thing for you will be remembered — even honored. “And the ones that stuck that knife out and cut you or others; well, they will be lost or at least deposited into the bin of toxic waste.” These young folks seemed to radiate kindness already; perhaps because they had seen too many metaphoric knives thrust their way.

VOTE: “I know some of you can’t vote, or can’t yet vote. But when you are able to — please step up to the citizen’s stage and play your part in democracy. Too many folks have cynically become government atheists and forgotten that this four letter word is what makes the United States the beacon of freedom.” As I was speaking about voting I mentioned one simple word that had a visceral reaction from the entire class: Trump. The students seemed to freeze in front of me; as if simply mentioning his name was frightening. They gave me the feeling that they could be in danger if they made any movement — as if remaining invisible was the safest place to be. That image stayed with me for days.

GRIT: (I must tell my readers that these books etc. about grit are so late to the party because we teachers have known this decades before it became some authors’ Ah-ha Moment.) “I know you guys are up against some tough odds. Heck, I’m from Brooklyn. My folks never went to college. They lived paycheck to paycheck for years. I was not the brightest candle in the chandelier; after all, when the SAT test had a max score of 1600 — I settled in at 880. The motto written in bold letters above my door read: YOUR ‘I WILL’ IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ‘IQ’. I failed at lots of stuff. I failed a test that would have awarded me $10,000 and a National Board Certification — by two points…and I heard the results I on my birthday (for literally cryin-out-loud). So I get it. GRIT makes you grab hold of the things that really matter. And BTW, I passed the test a year later.”

LOVE: The Beatles, remember them, (the students nod) had it right — “Love is all you need.” So if you are thinking of being a doctor, nurse, teacher, councilor, Lift driver…whatever the choice, if you do not find love, you are lost and no GPS will guide you there. When I was interviewed to be San Diego County’s “Teacher of the Year” I was asked this first question: what do you teach? My answer: INVISIBLE THINGS. The panel seemed confused. So I explained: ‘I teach kids about compassion, hate, love, tolerance — why Atticus Finch defends Tom Robinson; why Huck Finn loves a slave named Jim and why Jim loves Huck. These are the invisible things that matter. If one does not teach the answer to those questions, then what purpose do we have?”

HOPE: “You students are the legacy my generation leaves behind. Optimism may seem difficult for some of you. But there is a reason you are here, in this classroom, and a reason I am here, as well. Because, despite all the barriers and all the naysayers, we believe in our dreams. I’m going to play you a song and show you some of the pictures of the dreamers of the past and the present — from Jackie Robinson to Neil Armstrong to Lin-manuel Miranda to Taylor Swift. This is a song by that guy you all have never heard of and it’s called ‘The Land of Hopes and Dreams’.”

I pushed play and let Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band erupt within the walls of their classroom.

When I drove home, I had that feeling that I thought might have disappeared. It was a feeling that I made a difference today — with kids, albeit a bit older…but now wiser. I reminded myself on the 45 minute journey home, that what really matters in life is simply that you can be the sunshine of someone’s life — even if that someone has no idea who the person is who is singing that song.